Many people have difficulty with forgiveness. I was one of those people. I could not seem to get past my past. It seemed as if my past would somehow always invade my present and destroy any hopes for the future that I may have had. In 1990, after the passing of my grandfather, the weight of the pressures of life caused me to feel as if suicide was the perfect way out of the miserable tormented state that I was in. I did not realize that if I had succeeded I would have awaken in an eternal torment far greater than the trials of this world could ever place upon me.
One day my grandmother sat me down at her kitchen table and asked me why I felt the way that I did. With tears streaming down, I told her exactly what I was feeling. She replied in a way that would change my life forever. She said: "Baby, in this life your feelings will get hurt because the bible says in Luke 17:1 that offences will come. However, what people have done to you is not really your problem. Your problem is that you won't let it go. Unforgiveness is killing you by keeping you bound to the pains of the past. Sweetheart, you must learn to let some things roll off like beaded water on a newly waxed car." I looked at her and asked "how do I do that when it hurts so badly?" She said "baby you must learn to keep your mouth closed! Each time you repeat the story you go back in time to the same hurts, the same tears, and the same emotions". She then pushed herself up from the table and walked down the hallway to her bedroom. With her slippers sliding across the floor, she returned with a doll. She sat it upon the table and said "Do you see this doll? It comes with directions. These directions tell what makes this doll laugh, cry, wet herself, etc. It also tells you to keep this doll out of and away from heat. Now, if I am holding this doll and decide to go check on tonight's dinner and I accidentally place the doll to close to the fire, the doll will begin to melt. She is at that time damaged or what you would call hurt. The differences between you and this doll are simple. First of all, you didn't come with directions so believe it or not people may not even know that they have hurt your feelings. Secondly, you can deal with this one of two ways: Privately go to the person that you feel has wronged you and discuss the matter, give them a chance to apologize, forgive them and move on according to Matthew 18:15 or simply forgive them, speak of it no more and move on. Either way the common denominator is forgive and move on. See, although the doll has been damaged, she never says one word about the matter. She doesn't repeat the pain to herself nor to anyone else. Therefore, she never becomes bitter. She waits patiently for you to come back and love on her once again. When you return she doesn't reject you, she simply forgives and moves on. She doesn't put stipulations on the relationship. She merely forgives and moves on."
My grandmother has been gone for almost 9 years but I will never forget the lessons that I learned sitting at her kitchen table. Some days I do well and some days I must revert back to this simple lesson of forgiveness. Nevertheless, I've come a long way since that day and forgiveness comes a bit easier. The more I practice the art of forgiveness, the easier it becomes. I thank God for the lesson and I also thank him for the messenger. I pray that this simple lesson blesses and assists you on your way to FREEDOM FROM UNFORGIVENESS and that's THE REAL TRUTH.
Minister Yolanda Brown-Gunner (c) 2010
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